Women feel so much pressure to hide their feelings to be seen as professional.
Why, as a woman, should you care about expressing your emotions effectively at work?
Whether you’re frustrated, sad, angry, or exited, even if you don’t verbalize it, it will come out in other ways.
As a woman you actually get looked at longer and harder than men do for how you express those emotions.
Women are traditionally more likely to be labelled as overly emotional, so you must think longer and harder about when to express or not express emotions at work.
I want to put your mind at ease as there are a lot of good that can come from being selectively vulnerable.
There definitely has been a trend towards much more authentic and empathetic leadership.
Generally, women are scared of being overly emotional and so you swing more towards the side of not displaying enough emotion.
Maybe you’ve been taught for so long that you shouldn’t express emotions and you lose out on the authenticity and the vulnerability that can come out of sharing emotions which can actually have really positive effects on your team and organization.
So, you’ve probably noticed a shift in leadership styles lately. There’s this growing trend towards more authentic and empathetic leadership, and it’s fantastic.
But you know, there’s this thing – women often find themselves navigating this fine line between being authentic and not wanting to be perceived as overly emotional. It’s like a balancing act, and sometimes, we end up not expressing enough.
I mean, think about it. Have you ever felt that pressure to keep it all together, not showing too much emotion at work? It’s like we’ve been taught for ages that emotions should be kept in check.
As a leader, you’re in the spotlight, right?
Every interaction counts, from your words and body language to that quick email you fire off. You’re not just managing tasks; you’re setting the emotional and cultural tone for your team.
It’s like, what vibe are you putting out there? Are your emails short and snappy for efficiency, or do they invite feedback and collaboration?
Imagine you stroll into the office after a chaotic morning – traffic jams, maybe a little disagreement at home. Now, if you keep that to yourself and just tell your team, “Hey, if I seem off today, it’s not about you,” they might spend the whole day worried and anxious. It can really put a damper on productivity.
So, where’s the line between sharing and oversharing?
I like to call it selective vulnerability. It’s about sharing what you’re feeling while keeping your team’s psychological safety in mind.
For instance, during tough times like layoffs, acknowledging the stress without going into too much detail helps preserve relationships and keeps the team informed.
And here’s a nugget for you – research shows that when your team feels their manager cares about them personally, they perform better and are kinder to others. It’s like this virtuous cycle that keeps the humanity alive at work.
Alright, let’s talk about emotions at work. Why do we often focus on the negative ones? Are there really positive and negative emotions, or are they just emotions? What’s the mindset we should have when expressing our emotions at work?
UPSET AND ANGRY AT WORK
Now, we’ve all been there – feeling upset or angry at work. How do you calm yourself down? It’s simple, really. Take a break, acknowledge what you’re feeling, and ask yourself, “Am I making any assumptions about the situation?” Self-awareness is key before expressing those emotions. You don’t want to hit send on that angry email without knowing why you’re angry in the first place.
CRYING AT WORK
What about crying at work – it’s something many of us have experienced, right? Whether in public or private, it’s a human reaction. If you find yourself tearing up, it’s okay. Excuse yourself, step outside, and reflect. Is it a one-time frustration, or is there an underlying issue making you consistently unhappy?
EXPLODE AT WORK
And what if you explode at work? It happens. Own it, acknowledge your strong reaction, take some time to process, and then come back to the situation. What caused that outburst? Was it an ongoing issue? Which boundaries were violated? And here’s the magic – follow up with the person, apologize, and share what you’re doing differently.
HANDLING AN EMOTIONAL OUTBURST
Now, what if you’re on the receiving end of an emotional outburst? Try putting yourself in a bubble, recognizing the other person’s strong reaction without internalizing it.
When a team member is going through something deeply upsetting, be a good manager by listening, asking good questions, and creating that safe space. Everyone copes differently, so avoid telling them how to feel. Just acknowledge their emotions and offer support.
HOW TO REGULATE EMPATHY
But hold on, how do you regulate your empathy, so it doesn’t wear you down? Remember, you’re not a therapist. Provide clear roles and responsibilities, make sure they feel confident in their work, and inform them about available support.
Now, what if you’re just not the emotional type? We’re all wired differently emotionally. If you’re not expressing emotions easily, find moments to share a little more. Lean into excitement when your team achieves something great, share personal stories in a work-appropriate way, and let people see a bit of your human side.
SHARING STRENGTHENS RELATIONSHIPS
Research actually shows that when a leader shares a personal story, it strengthens the relationships with their team.
Have you been accused of being over-emotional at work? Take a step back. Who’s it coming from? Is it a credible source? Consider examples and be specific. Emotional expression is context dependent. There are times to be calm and collected, and there are times to be warmer. It’s about figuring out your emotional style.
Now, gauging how burdensome your message might be to the person you’re talking to – that’s crucial. Will your information be useful to them, or is it just an opportunity for you to vent? Vulnerability is about being open about what you need, and sometimes, that’s all you need to say.
Do you owe it to the people you work with to tell them if you’re going through something? Well, if it helps them understand why you’re showing up the way you do, it’s a positive thing. Always ask yourself if sharing has a purpose and isn’t just unloading.
Authentic leadership, emotions at work, and finding that sweet spot between sharing and oversharing. Remember, it’s all about being real while keeping your team’s well-being in mind.
Remember: You are powerful and unstoppable and it’s time for you to show it!
Choose to be the best version of yourself today!
It’s all up to you!
